Coercive Control is Abuse
Abuse is nuanced. This was on display with a recent case presented to a Kings County, New York family court. Physical abuse is easy to recognize, but emotional, coercive control is equally destructive.
Scholars have long known that domestic abuse is not limited to physical acts. In “Coercive Control: How Men Entrap Women in Personal Life,” author Evan Stark lays out a frightening case of control asserted through “structural forms of deprivation, exploitation, and command that compel obedience indirectly. This appears to be what transpired in the matter of Aisha R. (mother) and Ariel T. (father) and their children, Aria and Arielle.
The crux of the case centered on the alleged coercive control of the children’s father, Ariel. One of the most compelling allegations in the case was the behavior of Arielle, a two-year-old child. Arielle was cited as using derogatory words towards his mother, Aisha, such as “bitch” and similar language.
The manner by which he levied these insults along with the language is clearly learned behavior at the age of 2. The person who the child most likely heard referring to his mother in that fashion is the father, Ariel. Another disturbing allegation was Ariel’s use of the children to control Aisha. For example, hiding the children’s critical documents (vaccination records, etc) and even threatened to take the children away if Aisha did not comply with his wishes. Not only is this clearly a form of coercive abuse against Aisha, but this behavior also imparts to the children that manipulation is a method that can be used to achieve one’s objectives. This is a toxic lesson for any child.
In the matter of Cerise M., 177 AD3d 743, 744-45, the court ruled that when a child witnesses one parent’s degrading, verbal behavior towards the other parent, the mere mimicking of this behavior towards the victimized parent is enough to show impairment of the child. Some scholars use a hostage analogy for this situation, where the victim of coercive control is akin to a prisoner of war, or a hostage. There are structural dimensions of battering that give abusers the power to regulate their partner or ex-partner’s behavior. This can include but is not limited to hiding or seizing financial resources, controlling the distribution of food, medicine, or similar vital resources, cutting off methods of escape as well as communication with close friends and family.
Perhaps the most degrading form of abuse that coercive control can take is that of humiliation. Per the petition in this case, Ariel accuses Aisha of sleeping around, would take control of her monthly SSI benefits, and not allow her to see close family members. In Ariel’s motion to dismiss the case, he argued that the Administration for Children’s Services (ACS) did not set forth a cause of action that was sufficient to amount to the claim that he has neglected his children or put them at risk of impairment. Ultimately the respondent’s (Ariel) motion to dismiss was denied. A fact-finding hearing will follow.
Categories
Abuse
Custody
Divorce
Domestic Violance
Family Law
Orders Of Protection
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