CO-PARENTING COMMUNICATION HACKS
Co-parenting does not need to be rife with conflict.
We’ve seen couples become more cordial and respectful of each other in co-parenting roles than they ever were as a couple. A collaborative and healthy co-parenting relationship depends equally on both sides. Information is critical in a co-parenting relationship. One must transmit information accurately, completely, and in a timely manner. This is not simply a common courtesy to your ex-partner. Instead, a child’s well-being hinges on it. Abide by a co-parenting golden rule – provide your ex the information that you would expect them to provide to you. Honestly, abiding by this rule alone will result in near-fluid communication.
Here are some basic guidelines you should follow:
Stay Attentive Your child is your priority, nothing else. Keep conversations and communication brief and to the point. Maintain your attention on the present or future event, and avoid getting side-tracked into discussions on the past or troublesome events before the split.
Remain positive and bring the conversation back to your child if the conversation derails.
Keep Calm It is easy to jump to conclusions and overreact when conversing with someone with whom you have a problematic past. Avoid things like exclamation marks or writing in all capital letters. Phrases such as “you always” or “you never” should be avoided at all costs. Sarcasm will get you nowhere (no matter how tempting), and profanity is a definite no-no.
Courtesy Above Everything Using words like “please” and “thank you” will go a long way. Be sure to provide reasonable deadlines with exact dates and times (as they apply). Lastly, write all communication from the lens of an impartial third party, like a judge. This will ensure that communication is cordial and courteous. There are three tools in your communication toolkit to communicate with.
Email is your best bet for keeping communication succinct and respectful. But best yet, emails provide a written log over time. Many co-parents only communicate via email, as phone calls and text messages (to be discussed further) can get tricky from time to time. Keeping a separate email address just for co-parenting communication helps too!
Text Messages Texting is similar to email, but text message chains can get unruly. If you’re exchanging quick information, i.e., a change in address of a pick-up point, text over email is easier and likely preferred.
Free co-parenting apps such as AppClose can provide an organized alternative that maintains a time-stamped record. Phone Calls Phone calls should be reserved for emergencies or if you’re at the point where conflicts don’t quickly arise between you and your ex.
We hope these co-parenting communication hacks help your relationship and that of your child(ren). After all, life is too short to continue the fight.
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