Once an unfathomable separation proposal, maintaining the children in the primary residence while divorced parents take turns coming and going is becoming increasingly more common. Also known as birdnesting, there are likely a host of reasons why this phenomenon is more popular than ever.
First, a stagnant economy leads to belt-tightening. When things get tight divorced families like any other family must consider the alternatives. In a typical birdnesting situation, both parents share the costs of running the home and the second home can be any of the following:
- A smaller, less costly residence that both parents share and occupy when the other is with the kids;
- Two smaller, less costly residences that each parent occupies separately but does not require extra bedrooms for the kids;
- Staying with family or friends when not with the children.
The ideal situation from a cost perspective is the first option. You are sharing the expenses of the primary residence and the new secondary residence, albeit a much smaller residence.
Putting Kids First
By far the best advantage of birdnesting is the children never need to leave their primary residence. For some children of divorced parents, the back and forth between their parent’s homes can be physically and psychologically very taxing. There is a plethora of literature that demonstrates when children do not need to leave their primary residence they tend to be better off (psychologically).
The Downsides
As you can likely already imagine, birdnesting is not for everyone. First, many divorces are not amicable. Some are downright toxic, so even the thought of residing in the home that your ex also occupies can be a bit much for some people. Second, you are still sharing the responsibility for the upkeep of the home – repairs, monthly bills, etc. For this to work, arguments and minor annoyances mustn’t get in the way of caring for the children. If this is not the case, then birdnesting is not for you.
Legal Considerations
Ironing out the visitation and childcare arrangements in a birdnesting scenario is imperative. There is not a lot of information surrounding how family courts view or deal with birdnesting. Like most family courts, the primary interest will be the children’s welfare. Lastly, there are also financial implications to consider should something happen to the property. Family law attorneys are a great resource on this end.
